That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
