I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
