absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
