you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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