Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
