I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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