I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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