If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
