Do you still have your period?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
