Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
