You smell like a Billy Joel song
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
