Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
