I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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