carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
