I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
