Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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