I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
