I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Randomize
