Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
