At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
