i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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