I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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