he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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