I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize