So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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