There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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