Banned from zoo.
Again?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
