Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
