My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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