I don't think brook has ever known best
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
