Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
