JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
