I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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