Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My bed smells like the plague
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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