260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
