I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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