problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
