It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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