his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
