so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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