Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
