hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
