Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize