shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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