Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
