Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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