Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize