just come out here and I will go home with you...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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