we have pet lesbian snakes
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize