I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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