Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
