i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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