toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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