I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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