Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
