I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
