One girl and one boy is just not enough.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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