VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
