wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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