The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
