bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
