That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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