Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
