Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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